Integrity Counseling Services

Pennsylvania's Premier Center for Catholic Counseling and Spiritual Direction

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Having a Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit: What Does that Really Mean?

By Cindy Dowling, M.A., L.M.F.T. — How many times have you heard the importance of having a healthy mind, body and spirit to live your life to the fullest? It is something that I share the importance of with my clients. You may be wondering what exactly that means. Read on . . .

A healthy mind is the ability to maintain emotional balance, cognitive clarity and mental resilience.  A state of mind where you have control or authority over the negative thoughts that pop into your head daily. Studies have shown we have over 6,000 thoughts a day. Those thoughts affect our actions and reactions to situations and people in our lives. When one lets their thoughts cause them to get stuck in the past (past regrets/mistakes/ losses/failures) it leads to depression. When one lets their thoughts lead to over-thinking fears of the future, a person can suffer from anxiety.  A healthy mind also includes emotional stability, the ability to process and express feelings in a healthy way, and the capacity to adapt to change or adversity. Finally, maintaining a healthy mind means taking care of your emotional needs, setting boundaries, and nurturing your sense of self-worth and purpose.

To maintain a healthy body there are many avenues to explore. Your diet should be full of nutritious, minimally processed foods including a healthy supply of fruits and vegetables. If you typically eat healthy, you will know when you eat something unhealthy because you can feel it in how your body functions. It’s like putting the wrong fuel in your car and then it just doesn’t run the way it should. You should exercise regularly. When you exercise, your body naturally produces endorphins which help regulate your body’s response to stress and anxiety, and contribute to a feeling of overall well-being.  Sleep (7-9 hours a night) and hydration are also important pieces to having a healthy body. Finally, avoiding unhealthy habits such as smoking/vaping, drinking alcohol and drug use is important.

A healthy spirit would include having a sense of inner peace and being confident in your religious values and practices. A healthy spirit is nurtured with a disciplined prayer life that encompasses gratitude, compassion and self-reflection. It would include a personal relationship with God that instills a sense of belonging to the body of Christ and a deeper meaning for life.

Working to maintain a healthy mind, body and spirit can help keep you functioning in an optimal condition and enhance your overall quality of life. If you feel you are lacking or struggling in one of these areas and may need the help of a mental health practitioner, please give our office a call to set up a consultation with one of our therapists.  God bless.

Integrity Counseling Services

Living on a Tightrope

By Deborah Rojas, MA, LPC — There are many great analogies for describing a sense of feeling overwhelmed. When I was in graduate school, I would often equate it to being on a tightrope, riding a unicycle, juggling plates. Did I mention that the tightrope was suspended over the Grand  Canyon and that it was in the middle of a hurricane?

Reality check!  I can barely walk a balance beam, do not know how to juggle, and am afraid of heights!  While in graduate school, I was working full-time and raising teens as a single parent. Life was stressful academically, relationally, financially, and I struggled knowing what to prioritize. Often, the most urgent item in the moment demanded my attention, and I became accustomed to responding to the tyranny of a deadline.

Feeling overwhelmed made it difficult to maintain the level of productivity necessary, and I began to develop strategies to feel less like I was living on a tightrope and more firmly planted on the ground. These needs were spiritual, physical, and relational. There were many subcategories, but I will share a few that were particularly helpful.

Prayer became a mainstay. I made it a priority to spend time with God daily. It became a regular habit to constantly ask for help. I would ask for God’s grace to get a paper done, plan a liturgy, help me talk with one of my kids, or simply for a moment to breathe. Prayer could not be an hour sitting in quiet, but instead became a way of life. It was a powerful reminder that all of my work was not being done in my own strength. This brought an abundance of peace and helped to navigate away from hyper-independence.

Physically, I started walking and eating more intentionally. I also made it a point to sleep adequately. And, every month, I took a full day to do something in nature, often going to see my friends at a Catholic worker farm. It was challenging to take time away from the time-sensitive pressures of school and work. However, the rejuvenation from taking a walk, eating a healthy meal, or taking a break for a longer moment testified to the benefit of a change of pace.

Relationally, it is amazing what happens when we prioritize love. Every moment with family and friends served as a powerful reminder that we are made by Love Himself for love. I always felt better after a talk with my kids, a phone call with a friend, or the rare dinner out. If I could go back, I would have been more available to my children during those precious teen years. But I struggled to be present in the context of deadlines.

I am so grateful for the changes I was able to make and the lessons I continue to learn in this lifetime journey of growth. It is humbling and good to recognize our needs. Ignoring them leaves us feeling like we are being pummeled by a storm about to lose balance and fall to our demise. The reality is that we are safe in God’s loving hands. Anxiety tells us otherwise. Feeling anxious and overwhelmed may be an opportunity to grow, to better learn how to listen to God’s voice and gain more balance.

Forgiveness from Childhood Wounds and Its Physical, Spiritual and Emotional Affects

By Cindy Dowling, M.A., L.M.F.T. — Forgiving others is one the most difficult things we must do as Christians.  It can also free us from a psychological perspective. Combining the spiritual aspect of forgiveness with the psychological aspect can lead to great healing. Many people have suffered greatly at the hands of others.  I’ve seen the mere thought of forgiving someone, when they have been deeply hurt, cause one to cry, become angry, and/or emotionally shut down.  When I talk about forgiveness, I do not mean to be dismissive of your pain. That is real. Forgiveness is part of the healing process. There are many important places to explore when it comes to forgiveness. For instance, how does holding on to past hurts affect us physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Holding a grudge can lead to many negative physical manifestations including but not limited to stress, headaches, insomnia, heart disease, high blood pressure, increased mental health issues, upset stomachs, etc.

 As for how forgiveness affects us spiritually, in the bible, there are many references to forgiveness and how important it is for us.  Matthew 6:14-15: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”  Also, in Matthew you can find the ‘Parable of the Unforgiving Servant.’

I love my house when it has just been cleaned. There is just something wonderful about clean floors, no dust, everything in its place that gives me a sense of peace and happiness. I compare a clean house to cleansing your soul with forgiveness.

I recently had a friend say to me, “If I forgive her, I’m letting her off the hook.” To which I said, “You aren’t letting her off the hook, you are getting rid of the hook she has in you. You need to take the hook of anger and resentment out, so it doesn’t continue to hurt you and hold you down.” By forgiving, you set yourself free emotionally. This doesn’t mean you are saying what the other person did is okay or that you need to allow them in your life to continue to hurt you. It means you are releasing the last of their control over you.

Many times, our interactions with people in our lives today unknowingly may trigger a wound from our past and we may react to them based on the past wound rather than the current situation. Ask yourself, how is this past wound showing up in my current relationship?  Is it affecting the way I trust or treat my family, my spouse, my children?  How will forgiving the wound and releasing the hurt affect my emotional reactions moving forward?

How can you truly heal these childhood wounds? One way is to invite the Holy Spirit into your heart and soul and ask Him to show you wounds from your childhood from which you have not healed. Take time each day to think about these memories and ask Jesus to heal those wounded parts and help you to forgive the person who hurt you.

It is important to also think about the negative things you started to tell yourself when this wound occurred and recognize these negative thoughts are not true. Make sure you also take time to forgive yourself. Many times, we go to confession to ask for God’s forgiveness, but we don’t forgive ourselves. It is just as important to forgive ourselves as it is to forgive others.

If you need more help healing from these past hurts, talk to a priest or therapist to help you process these wounds and truly forgive, so that you can begin to live your life free of resentments and/or grudges.

Cindy Dowling Therapist Integrity Counseling Services

Integrity Counseling Services Welcomes Cindy Dowling, MA, LMFT

Integrity Counseling Services welcomes licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Cindy Dowling, MA, LMFT to the ICS team. Cindy’s background includes 15 years of experience in the field of psychology. She has worked in private practice, taught undergraduate psychology, and helped many individuals, couples and families as a family-based therapist.

With a masters degree from La Salle University focusing on marriage and family therapy, Cindy helps individuals, couples and families learn how to break unhealthy patterns and communicate effectively. Her work focuses on seeing the struggles in one’s life through the context of their relationships.

She believes individuals are shaped through their life experiences, and those life lessons influence much of how one presents in other relationships.

Cindy is passionate about working with her clients. She works with couples and families, providing a safe and neutral space to express emotions, promoting compassion for each person, and helping each individual feel heard.

Cindy is a practicing Catholic and feels that faith is an important component to the therapeutic process. She is married and the mother of five daughters.

If you’re interested in scheduling a consultation with Cindy, please call Integrity Counseling Services at 610-601-9781 or email our office to set up an appointment.

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