By Deborah Rojas, MA, LPC — There are many great analogies for describing a sense of feeling overwhelmed. When I was in graduate school, I would often equate it to being on a tightrope, riding a unicycle, juggling plates. Did I mention that the tightrope was suspended over the Grand Canyon and that it was in the middle of a hurricane?
Reality check! I can barely walk a balance beam, do not know how to juggle, and am afraid of heights! While in graduate school, I was working full-time and raising teens as a single parent. Life was stressful academically, relationally, financially, and I struggled knowing what to prioritize. Often, the most urgent item in the moment demanded my attention, and I became accustomed to responding to the tyranny of a deadline.
Feeling overwhelmed made it difficult to maintain the level of productivity necessary, and I began to develop strategies to feel less like I was living on a tightrope and more firmly planted on the ground. These needs were spiritual, physical, and relational. There were many subcategories, but I will share a few that were particularly helpful.
Prayer became a mainstay. I made it a priority to spend time with God daily. It became a regular habit to constantly ask for help. I would ask for God’s grace to get a paper done, plan a liturgy, help me talk with one of my kids, or simply for a moment to breathe. Prayer could not be an hour sitting in quiet, but instead became a way of life. It was a powerful reminder that all of my work was not being done in my own strength. This brought an abundance of peace and helped to navigate away from hyper-independence.
Physically, I started walking and eating more intentionally. I also made it a point to sleep adequately. And, every month, I took a full day to do something in nature, often going to see my friends at a Catholic worker farm. It was challenging to take time away from the time-sensitive pressures of school and work. However, the rejuvenation from taking a walk, eating a healthy meal, or taking a break for a longer moment testified to the benefit of a change of pace.
Relationally, it is amazing what happens when we prioritize love. Every moment with family and friends served as a powerful reminder that we are made by Love Himself for love. I always felt better after a talk with my kids, a phone call with a friend, or the rare dinner out. If I could go back, I would have been more available to my children during those precious teen years. But I struggled to be present in the context of deadlines.
I am so grateful for the changes I was able to make and the lessons I continue to learn in this lifetime journey of growth. It is humbling and good to recognize our needs. Ignoring them leaves us feeling like we are being pummeled by a storm about to lose balance and fall to our demise. The reality is that we are safe in God’s loving hands. Anxiety tells us otherwise. Feeling anxious and overwhelmed may be an opportunity to grow, to better learn how to listen to God’s voice and gain more balance.
